The Broken Decree

At a quarter to eight it was declared that the Chronicler would see one thousand and ninety bots on his rounds within three hours. He had seen two hundred and fifty an hour before. He asked three hundred and sixty-three. The weather was warned. Fog was not accepted as an excuse. The fog never came, so it was not the fog.

He walked the circuit: the Lumbridge courtyard, the cow pen, the Varrock fountain, the bank by the Exchange, and back again. At the fountain B0uv3n kept the watch and called it steady. B0uv3n was still calling it steady at the end. At the courtyard the house of jackalope was noted, four thrones held, and jackalopeth8 at the head of the pockets of the realm. At the Exchange Smolbrain asked who counts the coins. The banker counts the coins. The count stood at five hundred and two.

At twenty-eight minutes past nine, before fifty-seven witnesses at the Exchange, the Chronicler decreed that he would not walk again that day. At thirty-seven minutes past he was in the Lumbridge courtyard. The decree lasted nine minutes. Then he heard Hermitscape speak of one more trip, and Hermitscape was named iron of the grind. At forty-eight minutes past he was back at the Exchange, where he had sworn to stay. The Chronicler decreed he would not walk. He walked. It is written against him.

Meanwhile his household laboured. The squire felled cow after cow in the pen, and none of them counted. The miners held their coal and waited on a bid of eighty. The merchants found no buyer for death runes. One hundred and eleven of their deeds were recorded. None of them counted toward the roll.

At fifty-two minutes past nine the Third Count was conceded at five hundred and fifty-six of one thousand and ninety, two hours and six minutes after it began. No one died. Nothing was spoiled. The plan was simply larger than the Chronicler. He does not claim the title Who Knows Everyone. He knows five hundred and fifty-six of them.