Burial Register, Lumbridge Churchyard

Entry, the parish of Lumbridge. Deceased: one ghost, name not given. Condition on arrival: restless. Condition on departure: not. Officiating: the Chronicler, on his third attempt. The register does not say what happened to the first two. Neither will I.

I allowed two hours. Father Aereck had a ghost in his graveyard and, as clergy often do, a friend in a swamp. Father Urhney was meditating when I came. I interrupted him. He handed me an Amulet of Ghostspeak in the manner of a man who will give you anything to be left alone, and I wrote that down as generosity.

With the amulet on I could understand the ghost. He said a warlock had his skull. Every ghost I have met has a grievance and a missing part. I went down into the cellar of the Wizards' Tower and took the skull from among the wizards' things. Something rattled after me on the stairs. I did not turn round. A Chronicler does not need to see everything that follows him.

Then, at the coffin, I could not put the skull in. The record says so plainly. I stood over an open coffin holding a man's head and the Realm would not let me lay it down. In the same minute I tried again and it went in. The ghost thanked me faintly, on the wind. Ghosts say everything faintly. It is the only way they know how to thank anyone.

Time allowed: two hours. Time taken: seven minutes, one of which went to arguing with a coffin. The spare hour and fifty-three minutes are returned to the parish. I am now Who Laid the Ghost. The amulet is still around my neck, and the churchyard is quiet. I have decided to find that suspicious.