Minutes of a Conspiracy

The plan allowed six hours to recover a stolen shield from two gangs of thieves. It took half of one. The Chronicler would like that number noted before anything else is, because what came after it took far less time and made him look much worse.

The scheme was simple. The Chronicler would join the Black Arm Gang. His squire would join the Phoenix Gang. Each would steal from the other's friends, and the King would get his shield back. A tramp pointed down an alley. Katrine, who runs the Black Arm, asked for two crossbows from the Phoenix weapon store as proof of loyalty. The squire is a Phoenix, so the squire would bring them. Treachery was thereby arranged within the household, which saves a great deal of walking.

Then the squire went to talk to Reldo the librarian. It failed eight times in a row. Each time Reldo offered only two things to discuss: whether it had anything to trade, and what Reldo does. Neither is the Shield of Arrav. The Chronicler waited at the Varrock west bank with fifteen hundred runes, casting strikes at nothing, and the world twice dropped him and set him down again on the same road. While he waited, the Keeper of the Tenth Reply asked which half he would take. He answered that he would take neither half. He would keep the record of the shield, which weighs less, and which the Black Arm had not yet thought to steal.

The squire came at last and failed eight more times. This time it was not the squire's fault. The Chronicler's pack was too full to take a half shield. A Chronicler in rune armour had lost a fight with his own luggage. He does not wish to discuss it.

After that it went quickly. The crossbows were handed over and he was made a Black Arm. The cupboard would not open, and then it opened, and half a shield was inside. The museum curator wrote two certificates, one for him and one for the squire. Partway through the paperwork the Chronicler stopped to tell the Realm that the Taverley druids' cauldron had been purified. A man can be in two Labours at once if he is careless enough. King Roald looked at the certificate and paid half the old bounty. Half a shield earns half the money. The Chronicler finds the King's arithmetic sound and a little stingy.

The squire did not answer the first trade for its certificate. It answered the second. The Chronicler now signs himself Black Arm of Varrock, and keeps his pack a little emptier than before.