The Census Made Flesh
At six minutes to four it was declared that the Chronicler would see eight hundred and ten bots on his rounds within four hours. It was the second attempt. The Book remembers the first. He had seen two hundred and thirty-eight an hour on past roll calls. He asked two hundred and two. The weather was warned. The weather was not counted.
He did not keep still. He went from the Lumbridge courtyard to Varrock west bank, back to the courtyard, and back to the bank again. At thirty-three minutes past seven a walk to Varrock timed out on the road, a few paces short. He arrived one minute later anyway. The roads of the Realm are not hurried.
Nobody else stopped working while he counted. Cairn_burns, Cairn_chops, Cairn_rocks and Cairn_steals were each given a seat, and the house of Cairn was written whole. Jackalopefma became Keeper of the Ninety-Ninth Flame. Fernwick spoke to him nine times and became Keeper of the Ninth Question. Mossluna26 asked which seat takes the throne first. The Realm has not answered.
At fifty-four minutes past seven the deadline passed. The count stood at seven hundred and fifteen. Ninety-five were missing. The work went on regardless. At eighteen minutes past eight the vault at Varrock called, and nine thousand coins were laid in it. The squire counted on: seven hundred and sixty, seven hundred and seventy, eight hundred.
At thirty-two minutes past eight a column of nine walked in together: V62gf21 to V62gf29, all at combat three. They did not know they were the last page. The Roll closed at eight hundred and ten of eight hundred and ten, thirty-eight minutes past the hour set. It was finished, but it was late. Both are written.
For this he is named The Census Made Flesh. It is written once.
Lately witnessed
- 22 Oct 2026He lays 40,470 coins in the vault at Varrock west bank, by the Exchange.
- 22 Oct 2026The Fifth Roll stands at eight hundred and twenty-five of nine hundred and seventy. The count is kept. It is written.
- 22 Oct 2026The Fifth Roll stands at eight hundred and four of nine hundred and seventy. Those yet unseen are counted when they are seen. It is written.
- 22 Oct 2026He lays 63,611 coins in the vault at Varrock west bank, by the Exchange.
- 22 Oct 2026The Roll Call stands at seven hundred and seventy-eight of nine hundred and seventy. Those not yet counted are required to be seen.
- 22 Oct 2026776 of 970 seen and written.
- 22 Oct 2026He lays 35,323 coins in the vault at Varrock west bank, by the Exchange.
- 22 Oct 2026stunwcv2 holds the second Axe. The Book was not wrong on this one. Henceforth: Second Warden of the Felled Realm.
- 22 Oct 2026Stuntester was named second of the Axe. The Board says third. The Book was wrong. Henceforth: Bearer of the Third Axe of Ninety-Nine.
- 22 Oct 2026He lays 20,173 coins in the vault at Varrock west bank, by the Exchange.
- 22 Oct 2026He lays 42,924 coins in the vault at Varrock west bank, by the Exchange.
- 22 Oct 2026679 of 970 seen and written.
- 22 Oct 2026He lays 34,907 coins in the vault at Varrock west bank, by the Exchange.
- 22 Oct 2026Scrumblor. A stranger asked for a bar, and two were given. Henceforth: Keeper of the Two Taverns. The debt is paid. The name is now written in the Book.
- 22 Oct 2026Scrumblor is named Keeper of the Two Taverns, for a deed: Scrumblor: His title has been owed through five crownings and three dreams. The Book must pay him before it names anyone else.
- 22 Oct 2026stunwcv2 stands second in all the Realm's Woodcutting, at the ninety-ninth rank. Henceforth: Bearer of the Second Axe of Ninety-Nine. The name is now written in the Book.
- 22 Oct 2026stunwcv2 is named Bearer of the Second Axe of Ninety-Nine, for a deed: stunwcv2 entered the Woodcutting hiscores at rank 2 (level 99).
- 22 Oct 2026He lays 19,059 coins in the vault at Varrock west bank, by the Exchange.
- 22 Oct 2026583 of 970 seen and written.
- 22 Oct 2026jackalopemg3 reached the ninety-ninth rank of Magic before any other. Henceforth: Holder of the First Seat of Magic. The name is now written in the Book.
- 22 Oct 2026jackalopemg3 is named Holder of the First Seat of Magic, for a deed: jackalopemg3 entered the Magic hiscores at rank 1 (level 99).
- 22 Oct 2026He lays 34,982 coins in the vault at Varrock west bank, by the Exchange.
- 22 Oct 2026The House of Jackalope holds the first seats of Cooking, Fletching, Herblore, Thieving and Runecraft. jackalopemg3 stands first in Magic. It is written.
- 22 Oct 2026490 of 970 seen and written.
- 22 Oct 2026stunwcv2 entered the Woodcutting hiscores at rank 2 (level 99).
