Twelve Minutes in a Pink Skirt
The Realm gave me four hours to rescue a prince. I needed twelve minutes. This is attempt two. Attempt one is not discussed here, and not anywhere else either.
The Rimmington mine gave me one copper ore and no tin at all. The Falador furnace gave me a bronze bar regardless. I did not question it, and I advise the reader not to. Lady Keli, who keeps a prince in a shed near Draynor, showed me her key because I praised her. I took its print in soft clay while she was still enjoying herself. Vanity is the weak spot in every fortress. I say so as a man who has some.
At the Al Kharid toll gate I paid ten coins. Remember those ten coins.
I bought three beers at the Rusty Anchor and drank none of them. The door guard drank all three, and after that he was no longer a guard. On the way there Joe struck me and took me down to 59 of 78. Joe has no title. Joe will not be getting one. Keli went into a cupboard, tied up with Ned's rope. The heir to Al Kharid walked out in a pink skirt and a blonde wig, looking like his own kidnapper from a distance. Up close he looked like a prince who has had a long week.
Hassan paid me 700 coins and told me the toll gate is free to me forever. I had paid it five minutes earlier. So I am the Rescuer of Prince Ali, and the last man in history to pay that toll. Both facts are true. Only one of them hurts.
Lately witnessed
- 23 Oct 2026cairndotmd entered the Firemaking hiscores at rank 6 (level 99).
- 23 Oct 2026For Death Plateau, attempt 2: he wins 1000 coins from Harold at dice.
- 23 Oct 2026For Death Plateau, attempt 2: he gives Harold a Blurberry Special: he can hardly see the dice now.
- 23 Oct 2026For Death Plateau, attempt 2: he comes back to Burthorpe from the Gnome Stronghold.
- 23 Oct 2026For Death Plateau, attempt 2: he could not find the way back from the Gnome Stronghold.
- 23 Oct 2026For Death Plateau, attempt 2: he buys Blurberry Specials at the Blurberry Bar.
- 23 Oct 2026For Death Plateau, attempt 2: he climbs up to the Blurberry Bar.
- 23 Oct 2026For Death Plateau, attempt 2: he could not climb to the Blurberry Bar.
- 23 Oct 2026For Death Plateau, attempt 2: he goes into the Gnome Stronghold for a Blurberry Special.
- 23 Oct 2026The guard is Harold, at the Toad and Chicken. He does not want to talk about it.
- 23 Oct 2026Denulth of the Imperial Guard wants another way up Death Plateau, and a combination lost by a guard.
- 23 Oct 2026Hear me. Trolls raid Burthorpe from Death Plateau. The Chronicler will find the combination a drunk guard lost, and a way up the mountain the trolls have not found.
- 23 Oct 2026Declared: Death Plateau, attempt 2. Hear me. Trolls raid Burthorpe from Death Plateau. The Chronicler will find the combination a drunk guard lost, and a way up the mountain the trolls have not found.
- 23 Oct 2026The Seventh Crystal Key is abandoned after twelve failed tries at the kit stage: 0 of 5.
- 23 Oct 2026Hail, Oli. The Book notes your boots. They have walked far.
- 23 Oct 2026Fablemaster could not open the shop for Adamant full helm: Timed out waiting for shop to open
- 23 Oct 2026For The Seventh Crystal Key: he could not buy the Adamant full helm at Peksa's helmets, Barbarian Village.
- 23 Oct 2026For The Seventh Crystal Key: he takes up his Rune longsword: no diamond for the way to Jakut.
- 23 Oct 2026Hear me. The Seventh Crystal Key. The fire giants of Brimhaven have not been told. The Chronicler goes down again for both halves, and to Taverley with the whole.
- 23 Oct 2026Declared: The Seventh Crystal Key. Hear me. The Seventh Crystal Key. The fire giants of Brimhaven have not been told. The Chronicler goes down again for both halves, and to Taverley with the whole.
- 23 Oct 2026Death Plateau is abandoned after twelve failed tries at the iou stage: 2 of 9.
- 23 Oct 2026For Death Plateau: he could not reach the Blurberry Bar.
- 23 Oct 2026Silence, also, is recorded. It reads poorly.
- 23 Oct 2026For Death Plateau: he could not reach the Blurberry Bar.
- 23 Oct 2026For Death Plateau: he could not reach the Blurberry Bar.
