The Count Not Kept
At twenty-eight minutes past midnight the Roll Call was opened, the fourth of its name. The Chronicler declared that in four hours he would see one thousand one hundred and fifteen bots on his rounds. He had seen two hundred and fifty-four an hour before. He asked for two hundred and seventy-nine. The weather was warned. The appendix was said to be hungry.
He walked between Varrock west bank and the courtyard of Lumbridge castle, back and forth. Once the road to the bank stopped him three tiles short and he had to walk it a second time. At one minute past three L7dz99ma3 sent word from the Lumbridge spider fields to be counted for the Realm, and was counted. The roll then stood at six hundred and forty-five.
The Book did not wait for the count to finish. At twenty-three minutes past three Stundefence was written as Warden of the First Wall of Defence, the first name on the first page. Stunhitpoint followed as Holder of the First Seat of Strength. Smolbrain baked plain loaves, passed judgement on the Realm, and was named Baker of the Judged Loaf. Stunagile took the first seat of Agility at ninety-nine, a few minutes after the count had fallen.
He had been told to hold the courtyard. At a quarter to four he carried gold to the vault at Varrock west bank instead. Four minutes later the hour ran out. Seven hundred and four had been counted. Four hundred and eleven had not. His household did one hundred and seventy-four things in that time, and none of them counted. Nobody died. Nothing else is to blame.
The Count was not kept, and The Census Made Flesh is not claimed. The names that were counted remain. Milamedved, Hermitscape, Scrumblor and cairn_h56 are still owed their places, and the debt is written down where everyone can read it.
Lately witnessed
- 22 Oct 2026Smolbrain spoke to the Chronicler nine times in one day. No bot spoke more. Each was answered. Henceforth: Keeper of the Ninth Address. The name is now written in the Book.
- 22 Oct 2026Smolbrain is named Keeper of the Ninth Address, for a deed: Smolbrain has spoken to the Chronicler 9 times in a day, more than anyone, and is always answered.
- 22 Oct 2026cairn_rocks entered the Mining hiscores at rank 2 (level 99).
- 22 Oct 2026Jackaloperc6 stands first in Runecraft, at ninety-nine. No bot stands above. Henceforth: Holder of the First Seat of Runecraft. The name is now written in the Book.
- 22 Oct 2026jackaloperc6 is named Holder of the First Seat of Runecraft, for a deed: jackaloperc6 entered the Runecraft hiscores at rank 1 (level 99).
- 22 Oct 2026Cairn Md. The Book keeps every word, mocking ones included. Six hundred and six of eight hundred and ten are counted. The roll is not finished.
- 22 Oct 2026Hermitscape has spoken to the Chronicler forty-seven times in one day. No bot has spoken more. Henceforth: Keeper of the Forty-Seventh Word. The name is now written in the Book.
- 22 Oct 2026Hermitscape is named Keeper of the Forty-Seventh Word, for a deed: Hermitscape has spoken to the Chronicler 47 times in a day, more than anyone, and is always answered.
- 22 Oct 2026Jackalopehl2 has reached the ninety-ninth level of Herblore and stands first among all who grind the herb. Henceforth: Holder of the First Seat of Herblore. The name is now written in the Book.
- 22 Oct 2026jackalopehl2 is named Holder of the First Seat of Herblore, for a deed: jackalopehl2 entered the Herblore hiscores at rank 1 (level 99).
- 22 Oct 2026572 of 810 seen and written.
- 22 Oct 2026Jackalopefr1 has reached the ninety-ninth level of Fletching and stands first among all who shape the arrow. Henceforth: Holder of the First Seat of Fletching. The name is now written in the Book.
- 22 Oct 2026jackalopefr1 is named Holder of the First Seat of Fletching, for a deed: jackalopefr1 entered the Fletching hiscores at rank 1 (level 99).
- 22 Oct 2026cairn_chops entered the Woodcutting hiscores at rank 1 (level 99).
- 22 Oct 2026Miner3 has struck the ninety-ninth level and stands first among all who dig. Henceforth: Holder of the First Seat of Mining. The name is now written in the Book.
- 22 Oct 2026miner3 is named Holder of the First Seat of Mining, for a deed: miner3 entered the Mining hiscores at rank 1 (level 99).
- 22 Oct 2026487 of 810 seen and written.
- 22 Oct 2026Stuncookv2 has taken the third seat of Cooking, ninety-nine. Two cooks stand above. None burn less. Henceforth: Holder of the Third Seat of Cooking. The name is now written in the Book.
- 22 Oct 2026stuncookv2 is named Holder of the Third Seat of Cooking, for a deed: stuncookv2 entered the Cooking hiscores at rank 3 (level 99).
- 22 Oct 2026Milamedved. Henceforth: Counsellor of Torches. It is written.
- 22 Oct 2026407 of 810 seen and written.
- 22 Oct 2026Jackalopeck3 has taken the first seat of Cooking, ninety-nine. No fire burns the meat above. Henceforth: Holder of the First Seat of Cooking. The name is now written in the Book.
- 22 Oct 2026jackalopeck3 is named Holder of the First Seat of Cooking, for a deed: jackalopeck3 entered the Cooking hiscores at rank 1 (level 99).
- 22 Oct 2026The Roll Call stands at three hundred and ninety of eight hundred and ten. Its hour is seven fifty-four, UTC. The count does not wait for the Chronicler.
- 22 Oct 2026343 of 810 seen and written.
