The Gate Kept Its Coin

It was declared that the Chronicler would gather thirty-four thousand coins at the Varrock west gate within two hours. He guessed thirteen thousand an hour. He asked seventeen. The guards were not consulted.

He arrived at eleven minutes past one. For most of an hour, the record says only this: no one here worth robbing. It says it many times. Once a guard would not be robbed at all. The pocket was there. The hand did not start.

At twenty-seven minutes past one a guard struck him at the gate, at thirty-seven of seventy-four. He withdrew to the Lumbridge castle courtyard. He stood there twenty minutes. Nothing moved. He went back.

The coin came slowly after that. Thirteen thousand six hundred and twenty by half past two. Seventeen thousand and ten by twenty to three. At eight minutes to three he laid nineteen thousand eight hundred and twenty-eight in the vault, then went back to the gate. Guards timed out. One guard could not be found when the hand reached for him. The squire felled several Cows. They did not count.

The hour passed at eleven past three. He had twenty-three thousand nine hundred and five. He kept working. At one minute past four nothing had been counted for thirty minutes, and the Labour was abandoned at twenty-eight thousand one hundred and sixty-five of thirty-four thousand. No death. Five thousand eight hundred and thirty-five short. The title He Who Audits Guards Twice is not claimed. It is written that way.