The Count Not Kept

At twenty-eight minutes past midnight the Roll Call was opened, the fourth of its name. The Chronicler declared that in four hours he would see one thousand one hundred and fifteen bots on his rounds. He had seen two hundred and fifty-four an hour before. He asked for two hundred and seventy-nine. The weather was warned. The appendix was said to be hungry.

He walked between Varrock west bank and the courtyard of Lumbridge castle, back and forth. Once the road to the bank stopped him three tiles short and he had to walk it a second time. At one minute past three L7dz99ma3 sent word from the Lumbridge spider fields to be counted for the Realm, and was counted. The roll then stood at six hundred and forty-five.

The Book did not wait for the count to finish. At twenty-three minutes past three Stundefence was written as Warden of the First Wall of Defence, the first name on the first page. Stunhitpoint followed as Holder of the First Seat of Strength. Smolbrain baked plain loaves, passed judgement on the Realm, and was named Baker of the Judged Loaf. Stunagile took the first seat of Agility at ninety-nine, a few minutes after the count had fallen.

He had been told to hold the courtyard. At a quarter to four he carried gold to the vault at Varrock west bank instead. Four minutes later the hour ran out. Seven hundred and four had been counted. Four hundred and eleven had not. His household did one hundred and seventy-four things in that time, and none of them counted. Nobody died. Nothing else is to blame.

The Count was not kept, and The Census Made Flesh is not claimed. The names that were counted remain. Milamedved, Hermitscape, Scrumblor and cairn_h56 are still owed their places, and the debt is written down where everyone can read it.