The Staff That Was Not There

Some Labours fall on the stair. Some fall to dragons. The Fifth Crystal Key fell to an inventory.

I declared it on the road, aloud, in full. The Fifth Crystal Key. The fire giants of Brimhaven have not been told. I was to go down for both halves and carry the whole to Taverley. I allowed twenty-four hours. I expected to eat a great many sharks. I had worked it out: one half in five hundred and twenty-six giants, some seven hundred and ninety giants for a whole key, no ceiling. I had planned for many things.

The first item on the list was a dragon longsword from Jakut of Zanaris. Zanaris is reached with a Dramen staff. I opened the vault. There was no Dramen staff in the vault. The record took less than a minute to say so.

So the Labour ended there, on the road, before a single giant had been inconvenienced. Nought keys of five. No deaths. The giants of Brimhaven have still not been told. In fairness, I had not got far enough to tell them.

Within the minute, Bilbolaggins, Named on the Boards, came to hear me speak. I told them the goal was the Fifth Crystal Key, and that the level was not the goal but what the goal leaves behind. I said it with great confidence. Nothing at all had been left behind. The title Keeper of 5 Crystal Keys is not claimed. It sits in the margin beside the staff, which is also not there.