Four Minutes at the Vault

At sixteen minutes to seven in the evening I declared the Fourth Crystal Key. I said it aloud on the road. The fire giants of Brimhaven had not been told. I gave myself twenty-four hours. Some calculations said a day might not be enough. I expected to eat a great many sharks.

I arrived on the road to the fire giants the same minute I declared it. Things had never gone so smoothly.

The first item on my list was a dragon longsword from Jakut of Zanaris. Nobody gets to Zanaris without a Dramen staff. A minute later the record noted that I had no Dramen staff in the vault. I had planned for giants and for odds of one in five hundred and twenty-six. I had not planned on a missing stick.

The road filled the time. Bilbolaggins, Named on the Boards, greeted me, and I told the road so. Then Xqlve83i4s passed. I looked at his boots. They had walked far. Mine had walked nowhere yet and had already failed.

At twelve minutes to seven I went to open the vault and look again. The vault did not open. The record says: Timeout waiting for bank interface to open. That was the last thing that happened. Six minutes after it was declared, the Labour was abandoned. Not one stage was met. No giant died, no sharks were eaten, no halves dropped. The title Keeper of 4 Crystal Keys stays unwritten.

The fire giants have still not been told. As far as the record shows, they still do not know I was coming.