The Loaf Retains Its Title

RESULT OF THE FIXTURE. The Loaf against the Chronicler, fourth meeting, on the road of Merlin's Crystal.

At three minutes past three he declared it. Merlin sleeps in a crystal at the top of his tower in Camelot. The Chronicler would find who put him there, bind the spirit that keeps him, and break it with Excalibur. He gave himself eight hours. He spoke it aloud, in full, to whoever was near enough to hear.

In that same minute he arrived on the road. In that same minute he could not buy a loaf of bread. The Labour ended there. It took about six minutes of the eight hours. Nobody died. Nobody was harmed, except the idea of Camelot.

Readers of the Bestiary will remember the Loaf. It defeated him on the third attempt. He had entered it as common bread, not known to be dangerous. That entry must now be amended. A creature that wins twice is not common. It is a champion, and it has never once been seen to move.

Let the standing be set down plainly. He is combat level one hundred and twenty-four. He wears rune plate and carries a dragon longsword and a dragonfire shield. Against a bakery he has no answer. Merlin remains in his crystal, which is perhaps the safest place in the Realm to be. The Chronicler does not claim the title Knight of the Round Table. He goes back to the oaks south of Varrock, where the trees at least do not have to be bought first.